Monday, July 30, 2012

Speak To Me

Oh Great Goddess with thousand and one faces reaching through the dense matter to bring gifts to the broken and weary,


Speak to me through the language of no words
Speak to me through the sound of music and the aroma of the sacred lotus
Speak to me through the hidden colors of the rainbow
Speak to me through the spirit of the dawn
Speak to me through the language of no words
Speak to me through the language of no words 
Speak to me through the language of no words


As I am yours... You are mine.


One like the morning star
One like the child that dances to the rhythm of the rising sun 
We shall be one
And I shall be GONE



Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Goddess

She comes from everywhere... To this Mr Nobody, sharing the wisdom of ages, the unconditional love of a mother. By her love and wisdom I am blessed not worthy enough to kiss her feet...





Thursday, July 26, 2012

Gravity






Lost again, broken and weary

Unable to find my way
Tail in hand, dizzy and clearly
Unable to just let this go

I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown
Catch me, heal me,
Lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live...

I fell again, like a baby
Unable to stand on my own
Tail in hand, dizzy and clearly
Unable to just let this go

I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown
Catch me, heal me
Lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live...
I choose to live...
I choose to live...

Catch me, heal me
Lift me back up to the sun
Help me survive the bottom

Calm these hands before they
Snare another pill and
Drive another nail down
Another needy hole
Please release me...

I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown 
Catch me heal me 
Lift me back up to the sun 
I choose to live...
I choose to live...

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Face Thy Fears

It is through one's fears that one achieves a higher truth ,a higher pleasure. Fear is the main element of man's existential anxiety. through facing it the phrase "Know Thy Self" comes into manifestation.


Face Thy Fears
Know Thy Self


The Jaguar


The Jaguar is calling out to me
To face my fears and attachments
Let go and swim into the ocean of love and bliss

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Timeless


On Cannabis

Smoking Cannabis is a disrespectful way of using it. it must be taken orally and not for the intention of running away from one's agony or problems but to receive guidance from the goddess... Cannabis has been underrated in it's spiritual potentials in the west but it has been used for centuries in the east (Ganja) for spiritual purposes. Given the right amount, the right environment and the right mindset, it can be a very powerful spiritual tool. It is important to remember it should be taken orally(tincture or oil based) at most once a week for spiritual purposes or even once a month (higher amount), alone and with humility toward the whole.


Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om
Om Mani Padme Hum 





And She Spoke...


Monday, July 16, 2012

Life

"It should be written on every schoolroom blackboard: Life is a playground or nothing."
-Mr Nobody







Thursday, July 12, 2012

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Prayer To Dawn (EOS)


First of all DO WHAT THOU WILT SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW and this is nothing but a creative expression of mine which I believe have received from the divine mother whose blessings I carry... so if you think it's bullshit, it is and if you think it's beautiful and worth doing every dawn, DO AS THOU FUCKIN WILT :

(It is very important for this to be done at the time of dawn)

(Chant your personal chant, prepare the settings as you like)

"In the name of the divine dawn(EOS)
Whose intoxicating relief of the first light inspires indigo dreams of awe and beauty
With the death of darkness, I shall arose to your heights with a killing thirst in the desert of here and now for your truth which I have sought all along the journey of my life

I offer you the flower (Preferably Morning Glories then Prostrate to the east and put the flower on the altar while your forehead is still touching the ground) these words and my love 

Breath thy spirit into me 
Breath thy spirit into me
Breath thy spirit into me

And I shall be yours

Surrendered to your will I am but a feather guided by the rising sun 
Surrendered to your will I am but a feather guided by the rising sun
Surrendered to your will I am but a feather guided by the rising sun 

In the name of the dawn, may the two become one
In the name of the dawn, may the two become one
In the name of the dawn, may the two become one 
(Repeat as many times as you like)

Let me see the unseen, hear the unheard and touch the untouched

In the name of the divine dawn(EOS)
May all attain peace within
And be the rising sun

(Chant your personal chant)

Oh, Divine Dawn (EOS) whose tail of light I follow

I salute thee"


Reconsidering moving to Russia...

Recently my main stats changed from Malaysia (which I live in) to Russia!! (which I have no friends in, no nothing... btw : always loved the "meanwhile in soviet russia" memes)


So I may reconsider moving to Russia instead of Canada...


But seriously? What's the big thing? Why Russia? I mean... there's nothing wrong with russians or anything but do they have a thing for crackpots like me or is this just like I'm being punk'd by a group of russian nerds (Am I that famous?)?


But seriously seriously
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Russians gals are hot...





Sunday, July 08, 2012

On Abstract Art and Abstract Impressionism

In my idea painting doesn't require much skill or preparation (after doing pieces of fine art in my whole life!!! haha) does not necessarily require skill or talent but a form of expression wether truly abstract (nihilistic or whatever) or mixed with an impression of inner or outer reality. As contrasted with Realism (Naturalism), Romanticism, Surrealism, Impressionism and similar styles which require the artist/painter to learn basic painting skills to reflect outer/inner (by inner this time I mean dreams and fantasies that contain some sort of relation with the natural world) reality in it's pure form (Naturalism) or with a hint of subjective experience (Impressionism, Romanticism) or the other way around.






Personally I think learning some basics would help an abstract impressionist (Just for a while, I consider Surrealism or Romanticism as options for future after learning the basics) like myself to bring the subjective view of the outer reality or even a dream/nightmare out easier than just splashing/brushing colors directly as inner landscapes.








But, that's, just like, my opinion MAN.



Painting No.872012


Masturumming


Friday, July 06, 2012

Go on... LABEL ME...



First you question what appears to be unpleasant, then you start questioning what appears to be pleasant and after that you question the question itself and the act of questioning of the question itself...


Then you DROP OUT!



Go on...


Label me...

The Triad Of Friends And Painting No.672012

A Triad Of Friends


A Visual Ode To The Triad Of Friends







One

This is from the first time that I experienced bliss (three weeks of absolute intoxication)
Fear... no more
Agony… no more
Reason… no more than a slave
For the child that dances to the rhythm of the sun 
And for the two that become one

Inertia… no more
Pain… no more
Separation… no more
For the child that dances to the rhythm of the sun
And for the two that become one

Merged in bliss and tranquility
Merged in love and ecstasy
Merged in the golden dance of intoxication

Two… no more
Two… no more
For the one that found the heart of the sun
For the one that is no more two… but ONE

And for the one that is no more… but GONE




I Follow The Dawn

I don't follow a cult, I simply express myself with familiar words in unfamiliar ways... I don't bear light nor darkness... I don't bear love nor hate. I simply follow the dawn and love and light come on their own...



Eos The Goddess of Dawn

My body is the male physical manifestation of Eos the goddess of dawn and impregnated with Lucifer the Lightbearer.


However "I" does not exist, All that exists is the body and the light of the morning star that it carries. I am nobody and everybody manifested as somebody... I am you all the way through and I am the song of the eternal flute player. 


I shall bring the desire of eternal love to all whose fate crosses my light and so I shall bring the desire of no desires... the word of no words... I am not the light, neither the darkness. I am Eos the goddess of dawn impregnated with Lucifer the lightbearer... 


Thursday, July 05, 2012

The OmniShit

My void of creation (painting station) next to the omniversal telephone and my first piece named the omniShit (Yes that is the name of my first child and she is ugly as hell) : 


Dream : Heart Shapes And Little Stars

Two college students were in love and drawing each other heart shapes instead of writing their homework...

Strangely enough, I was the cool professor of their class doing his job but after seeing the looks they exchanged I said fuck it, sat in the middle.and started putting little stars next to their heart shapes... 




Step by Step Guide To The Ancient Burning Book Magicka

First step : find a really precious rare book that you love with all your heart (the contents of the book doesn't really matter, it can be a holy book, an unholy book, an i-ching guide to predict the future, a comic book about the wonderwoman (my preference), a science book or even if you like my blog, you can get a print, make it into a book somehow and use it... just remember that it must be your favorite of all time)


Second step : go to a natural environment surrounded with Plants (possibly entheogens like heavenly blue (IPOMOEA TRICOLOUR) flowers fertilized by holy cow shit), very old trees, mystical caves that lead to the underworld and shit like that...








Third step : Start a fire... Ok, I'm not going to explain to you how to start a fire, just read "how to start a fire for dummies" and don't forget to burn it afterwards...






Fourth step : Chant random shamanic shit like Hoohayama Hoolamama mooosiii la hu hu hu and spill a mix of grounded morning glory seeds, powdered holy cow shit and dried up masturbation remains in the fire... be very respectful, this is no matter of humor and be very careful because this kind of burning book magic is considered a very powerful art is not for the faint hearted...







Fifth step : Rip the book(s)'s page by page and throw each one gently in the fire while continuing chanting and dancing around the fire like a true hipster newagy shaman (recommended to do naked while filming your self and it wouldn't hurt if you send me the film specially if you have female genitalia which is considered very sacred in the burning book magicka, you can also ingest the vagina flower (Vaginilius Flowerus) but it is considered very rare)








Sixth step : Gather the ashes, blend them with some banana milk shake and ice cream and drink it with respect...






Now go to step one and repeat the process until you sense the presence of machine elves watching  you from the back while touching themselves inside out...


Don't remember the truth is simple...


It's :


Hoohayama Hoolamama mooosiii la hu hu hu
Hoohayama Hoolamama mooosiii la hu hu hu
Hoohayama Hoolamama mooosiii la hu hu hu






















And don't forget to use Soap afterwards...



False Awakenings...

I consider myself a psychonaut of sorts but I haven't had much experience with entheogens beyond one low dosage psilocybin experience in the island of Bali and one Salvia extract experience which I really doubt was Salvia at all and both ended up as really really bad trips (not that I didn't learn anything)... and of course you can't count Marijuana as an entheogen so lets just forget about that. 

First let me explain my reasons for why I seek an inner experience of sorts :

There are two basic motives to my psychonautic adventures : Curiosity and Guidance

Guidance for what? well, if you have followed my posts, you probably have observed my neurotic and anxious behavior reflected in my words maybe mixed with some mind fuck or smart humor. So yes I admit I am sick and I seek healing... I HAVE NOT tried anything. I am too lazy to go to the gym... I may go one of these days but I have done experiments with swimming for months and haven't got much results so I just reject the idea that my mental anguish is caused by my lack of physical activity. 

I believe I am hereditary and evolutionary exposed to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Mood Swings.. and frankly it feels like shit. I don't think any part of my creativity or love for nature or ... etc springs out of these psychotic behaviors. I am willing to heal and have taken meds... still am taking and experimenting to find the right ones but as a very ambitious person that I am, I can't stop seeking so what I have access to right now is dreams. 

Have you ever noticed we trip (maybe not godhead but a trip is a trip) each time we're dreaming through the night? So we almost trip all our life without using it as a tool to guide us into higher states of consciousness or simply a better mood... (entering into blissful heavens, meeting inner guides) 

Now that I have explained my reasons and motivation for my psychonautic adventures, particularly lucid dreaming. Let's get in more details :

I have a very specific intent in my attempts to become lucid : getting inner guidance for my daily activities that can lead me out of this hell and into a blissful, calm state... or at least ordinary. I have this problem with authority and if in a dream there is this guy coming to me saying : Talk less, Question more. based on the feeling that he gives me I know where it is originated from and I will act on it if it feels right but religions, spirituality (specifically new age spirituality) and the people that follow those kind of practices couldn't helo me much so I trust my inner more than my outer. I had a bunch of lucid dreaming experiences and one of them was really beautiful but lately with my constant struggle and the inner transformation that I am going through... the dreams are not helping me much. But that doesn't mean I give up on this path. (read the lyrics of the patience by Tool).

Ok, now that you read all through the way to here, I wanna write about my false awakening (type 2) experience last night. Recently (after a few pushes by Mckenna and Neurosoup) I decided to start the lucid dreaming practices again and do it in my own way (Psychological Reinforcement Using Language as the main tool during the day)... I just keep repeating and ensuring myself that I am going to have become lucid tonight... Also recently I've been out of my anxiety meds so I had no choice to take 2 mg of xanax (the worst decision of my life based on past experiences). why? because it makes me fuckin nutz for days afterward... and duo to my tolerance it doesn't do shit for me so you get the idea. After taking the xanax, suddenly for some reason (captain obvious) I felt sleepy and just fell sleep.

Now we get to what the title is about : The Tainted False Awakenings

I awoke, my mom was by my bed (I live alone), didn't notice anything special, she just pointed at the door gently and I got freaked out (there was a robbery attempt recently at my place which ended up as a panic attack), got out of bed and everything was so real, I even felt the after effects of xanax (the dizziness) so it was so ensuring that I wasn't dreaming... walked out of my room and shockingly noticed a guy fixing stuff in my place... me confused and angry as fuck asked him what the hell is he doing? and he was shocked too because he thought the house was empty and in a state of repair (by the way my place is a total mess so no doubt I would unconsciously project that into my dreams)... now what was so scary was that I never had such a vivid dream... totally normal state... five senses working good and felt like I always feel like after waking up (with the addition of xanax). now multiply this dream in 5/6 and you get how freaked out I was. awaking again and again finding myself in my room totally normal but the guy fixing my stuff even building new stuff so I freaked out and suddenly thought to my self : Man, this must be a dream. this shit doesn't make sense, looked at my hands (reality check) nothing extraordinary... everything was so real and I didn't remember any other reality check technics so I totally freaked out... but was mildly lucid, understood that I was dreaming but panicked that I would never wake up from this loop hole of false awakenings.

I got up finally and was assured that I wasn't dreaming anymore (who knows!? maybe I am). totally freaked out took some orange juice to get the xanax out of my system, got a rage attack, called my parents and intellectually fucked them in each and every hole... did my daily disturbing post. And started to come down... my dad is coming back to bring my meds so I'm not worried that much but that's it with xanax. Considering lucid dreaming, I'm gonna continue my path... And I'm gonna get I what I want. DO NOT DOUBT ONE WORD...


BLISS is awaiting me... 

OSHO is awaiting me on the other side...











Wednesday, July 04, 2012

DROP OUT!

Open youtube on your web browser... watch some Osho talks and find your favorite. Open another tab on youtube search for Helios songs... find your favorite song. Take your favorite Entheogen...


Play both at the same time... 


DROP OUT!



I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me!

The only way to know your Psychopharmacological makeup is to experiment with different drugs, Both prescription and non-prescription.

Eat me Drink me

You either eat the shadow or the shadow eats you... 


This time I'm gonna let it eat me up... consume me until nothing has been left. 


EAT ME... DRINK ME 








Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Everyone Is Right In Their Point Of View

Just because I am determined to be a determinist in this phase of my life doesn't mean free-will is an illusion.


Just because I am determined to be able to prove psychological hedonism does not mean I can disprove psychological altruism.


Just because I believe in something doesn't mean other things are wrong...


Actually... I believe everyone is right in their own point of view. 
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EXCEPT FUCKIN AUTHORITIES! 







On Super Hedonism (Part 1)


The whole Guatama style recipe for peace of mind, bliss or happiness is to eliminate all desires :

According to them to eliminate all desires one must desire to have no desires

(Obviously Mr Guatama was either gay or a drug abuser!)


Since we overuse our linguistic centers in the second millennia we call happiness many things; Yet it's only on the surface, deep inside we all crave for reaching a state of non-craving or to get rid of the dysphoria (psychological and physiological) for our true nature (higher self, god consciousness, super omniversal collective consciousness! :) ) to come to surface 

We call this ultimate happiness many things : Unio Mystica, Becoming one with god, Dying before Death, Bliss, Enlightenment, Hagh, Constant Orgasm, Taking The The Holy Acid, Simple Happiness…. or even Buying that house/car/computer…etc you always wanted.

YES, even desiring material things springs out of our natural tendency to avoid dysphoria and be euphoric 



And no desire is not the equivalent of suffering, on the contrary of what buddha actually said I believe desire is a consequence of suffering.

In more mathematical terms :

Desire ≠ Dysphoria

Dysphoria (wether psychological or physiological) causes Desiring (the object or subject doesn't really matter).

Dysphoria can come in many forms and in different quantities (forgive my weak english grammar + perfectionist style of writing).

So does reaching a state of non-craving cure all the dysphoria we go through?

Sorry, the answer is no. but if you ever taken ecstasy (MDMA) … reaching that state is like ecstasy thousandfold…!!! (Yes, I had a glimpse for whatever reason I'm not aware of)

Now if you have a disorder that causes a shitload of pain and suffering, reaching that state relieves 99% of it… that is exactly why when going through horrible diseases, most of the truly enlightened people on the planet don't/didn't experience much dysphoria and passed away in peace. (George Gurdjieff, Osho, Meher baba and so on) Who knows which one really attained such state but some really show symptoms of extreme euphoria… take a look at Osho's eyes for example : 

(Probably talking about the many uses of the word fuck or some other nonsense humor which for no particular reason makes everyone laugh so hard they bleed from their rectums)

Just look at the happy fucker... god I wish I was there when he was alive :



So this is basically my value system and my ultimate goal and I reached this philosophy on my own experience and not the books that I read or the youtube videos of Eckhart Tolle rambling about non-thinking because as you can see I even disagree with the basic philosophy and techniques of the so called enlightened masters for the man of the second millennia :



(Don't get me wrong, I spent hours watching OSHO talking about random shit with blazing eyes [sometimes even high as fuck] but all he rambles about is meditation and I get there on the next post)

You can call it whatever you like but I like to call it SUPER HEDONISM and the goal BLISS.

How I think it can be achieved? Have I achieved it (obviously by my previous posts you can say I'm god itself reincarnated in human form) ? 



You will know by reading the next post ... 




To be continued…